Come set your intentions for the Lunar New Year and meet other TPR readers this Sunday from 4-5:30 PM EST for Begin Again. Online. Details below.
Love Lab 101 is back. Come with your partner or join us self-partnered for an evening of connection practices that will charge up your heart. Feb 1 from 7-9 PM EST.
Walking across the bridge used to be a NYC secret. It must have been written up in every guidebook because these days it is humming with people. Recently, a friend and I were among a throng of tourists on the bridge, looking down 120 feet into the East River from the narrow pedestrian walkway. It was an unusually warm winter day and the sky was clear and radiant blue in every direction. I kept thinking about that phrase that New Yorkers use to describe the morning of 9/11… “not a cloud in the sky.”
The Brooklyn Bridge is a sacred spot for me. It’s where Joe proposed to me 25 years ago on the bench that sits right at the apex of the bridge. That’s a story for another day.
I suggested to my friend that we sit on that bench and take in the sea of humanity. Parents pushed strollers and cajoled toddlers. Everyone was stopping for selfies. I counted three school groups, two wedding parties and one celebrity. I heard Russian and Polish, Italian and Arabic. The bright winter sunlight bounced off the wooden walkway and lit everyone’s face like we were on a movie set.
“Wanna play a game?” I asked my friend.
“Yes” she said, not even knowing what it might be.
“When people walk by, we will send them love and see if we can get them to feel it.”
”Game on,” she said.
It’s based on buddhist Metta meditation practice, which directs positive energy and kindness toward others. I have been playing this game a lot lately on the subway or walking down the street. It keeps me from checking my phone.
“First,” I explained, “we need to charge up our hearts.”
"Imagine we are pulling light from the sun and energy from the earth into our hearts,” I said.
“I feel it,” she said. I could feel it, too. It felt like we were sharing a secret.
A family walked by, the mother pushed an empty stroller and cajoled a toddler who was clearly ready for a nap.
“On the count of three,” I said. The family approached and I closed my eyes and shot a little love bomb in their direction.
They carried on, not noticing us at all.
We tried the next group and the next. We kept sending love to strangers, imagining that we had some super power that could envelop anyone in our sights in a cloud of love.
Did it work? I have absolutely no idea.
I didn’t see anyone’s eyes get misty or look like they were overcome with a sudden urge to kiss someone.
But I felt it. And so did my friend. We were buzzing with joy. The love that we were sending out to others was lighting us up.
I used to think that love needed a recipient. But this practice is teaching me that love is a unilateral move, a decision one can make, and something you can do at any time.
I invite you to play the game this week while you walk your dog or wait at a stop light.
It’s like a cosmic wink, this practice of sending love to a random stranger.
FROM THE INSTITUTE OF PLEASURE STUDIES
Let’s Begin Again Together
One of my intentions for this year is to create more community. To that end, I invite you to an intention-setting gathering for TPR Readers on the Lunar New Year. January 22nd, 4-5:30 PM. Info is here.
LOVE LAB is back. Are you in a relationship of consequence? Want to make 2023 the year you break through, go deeper, fall in love even more? Come join us for community, research, practices and play on February 1 from 7-9 PM EST. Readers of TPR get 50% off. Use the code: EXPLORER.
Thank you for reading. Hope to see you at Begin Again and Love Lab.